Mere Motherhood, Part 2

Thank you for the comments and notes with the votes of confidence. I appreciate them all. Truth is, I know I'm not a horrible mom, but there are days where I feel like I am and I think that is normal, unfortunately. I know my kids are really good kids. For the most part they are polite and care about others. They have their days and times, but for the most part are really good.

I think the problems I have with them are normal problems for a lot of parents and children. I just get discouraged when trying to improve myself and them and I don't see it as quickly as I would like to. It's scary knowing that the big things that bug me about my own kids are the things that I really can't stand about myself and have thus far been unable to change, despite years of trying. And then there's the whole exhausted thing. I guess if I went to bed at 7PM like Emma I could run around the house, shaking my head, sticking out my tongue, and displaying other forms of silliness, but I don't. I'm often tired and grumpy because I go to bed late. I'm often hungry because I forget to eat until 3 or 4 and then realize if I eat then (because I'm ravenous and can't seem to eat something small), I won't be hungry for dinner. But I keep doing it. I go to bed late because the only time I get to read, write, sew, or spend time with Nathan or friends is after 7:30 at night.

So, no worries. I know I'm not horrible. How can a mother who agrees to play 50 rounds of Memory be horrible?