Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own

I've been thinking about this for a couple days now and I'm positive I'm right. 

Kidnappers are the stupidest people on earth. 

Why do they think kidnapping small children is a good idea? They poop and pee all over the place, they are always hungry but refuse to eat anything you offer, they won't go to bed and let you have alone time, they scream and hit when they are upset, they take all the canned food out of the pantry and throw it around the living room making you worry for the tiny old school TV with the screen smaller than your laptop.

Seriously, the stupidest people ever. 

They yell at you and tell you that they hate you. Then they yell at you and tell you that you hate them and everything is your fault. They grab at you when they are crying, refusing to let go and then the next moment insist that you get out of their room. They make demand after demand, never giving anything but a headache and the occasional sticky hand print on your shirt sleeve in return. 

Of course this is all assuming you love your children and therefore discipline them. You rarely get this last paragraph of rotten behaviors if you don't care about your children. Interesting, eh? The first paragraph though, I think is pretty generic.

Any kidnappers out there reading this, I'd love to have your feedback. Thanks.