Word Count: 525
Phrase: She glanced down at the paper in her hands, reading the names again, willing them to change. Finally, Inga brought her eyes up to look Nee and then Annalie full on. “Ulrica Arfvidsson. I saw her. And also Henrik Gustaf Ulfvenklou. I saw him, too. They were together with the King quite often while I was there and my sister, Rose said they are frequent guests to the king. They huddle together in various rooms of the castle, muttering and whispering, performing séances late into the night.”
Here's something new for the Word Count Check In, A Blog Reader Question section. Sometimes I have questions about how something sounds or should be.
Blog Reader Question:
The names of the two people mentioned by Inga, Ulrica Arfvidsson and Henrik Gustaf Ulfvenklou, these were real people who really did have great influence over King Charles. Do I keep their real full names, or make them easier? Like Ulrica Avidsson and Henrik Gustaf Ulvenklou. They are still crazy names, but are more pronounceable. Or should I leave them alone because they are real people who did some of what I'm saying they did?
Help!
3 comments:
Change the names. Even your adjusted names are still a little weird. The original names are distracting from the text of the story. You don't want people focusing so much on tripping over their tongue in their minds that they miss your story.
Ulrica and Henrik aren't too bad. But you're incorporating a couple of stories and hey, you have license to do whatever you want.
I like the names, but I think they need to be simplified, like you said; just first names.
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