Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Catch and Release and Catch Again

Have any of you asked to be released from a calling? (For those of you not LDS, a calling is something that the bishop of your congregation asks you to do. It can be teaching kids in the primary or leading the music in sacrament meeting, anything at all. Usually it is based upon inspiration, but occasionally desperation is key.)

I have. Once. I felt like I was drowning and couldn't handle that "one more thing" to stress me out. It was a calling that took me out of Relief Society (the women's meeting) at a time that I really needed that spiritual nourishment and help. So the Bishop release me and that was that. Until now.

I've been called to the same. exact. calling. Now is an even worse time than before. I know that there may never be a "good time" for this calling, and that I should just do it and deal with the extra stress and misery it gives me. But I honestly feel picked on. Even after talking to the Bishop and praying, I still feel picked on.

What do you do? Have you (those who are LDS) ever had a Bishop that you just didn't click with and felt like he really just didn't care about you? And just so you know, I base that on more than just him calling me to the same position twice after asking for a release. I just don't want to go into that here on the blog. Email if you want specifics.

Praying so far has left me empty of answers or peace, so don't bother suggesting that, I'm still working on it.

Right now I think I just feel like I need to know I'm not alone in having a difficult Bishop.



A friend gave me a blessing. Nathan felt a little too close to the situation to do it, so we had our friend Ben do the actual blessing. Nathan opted not to tell him about the situation (and I'm 100% sure Ben has been in finals or studying all day instead of perusing my blog). I feel a lot better. I'm not excited about the calling, but I know I can do it now and that the additional stress won't hurt the baby. I don't think my specific calling is what the Lord had in mind, but I do feel that He wants me serving more than my current calling was requiring of me. So I'm ok.

I also went to the doctor today to check on the baby before we leave for my sister in-law's wedding. We are 99% sure we know the gender. The ultrasound wasn't even supposed to be for that, but we just happened to get a good look. You can vote what you think on my sidebar:)


katie said...

I miss the student wards. We had little responsibility and only had to endure for a year in a specific calling. And yes, sometimes that was way too long. I've been asked to be released before. And I plan on it again in October or at least taking a six month vacation. So maybe you could endure until October. Anyway, moving to a family ward has made me feel less important. It's like, "You do your job, great we won't put effort into you because we have a lot of other people and problems to deal with." Sometimes it'd be nice to get a high five or a thank you for busting my butt, but I have to realize that comes in the form of blessings. It's a love/hate thing about the church - sacrificing our time, but sometimes I just want a break! Good luck.

Kristine said...

i remember meeting with a bishop after i had alessia and explaining that i ppd and that curtis was my little trigger. about two weeks later he called me to teach curtis's class at church. so i felt like i was not listened to at all. i did the calling. then moved to the five year olds and then got burned out. i left crying one sunday and they called and released me that day. so i understand how you are feeling. but i must say a few years out from it all i am impressed that i did handle it and not go crazy and just maybe i am a little stronger for it all. so no real advice just empathy.

janeen said...

Sorry to hear about your calling, whatever it may be. I wish i had good advice but I don't. I remember feeling stressed out as the nursery leader but eventually I was released (14 mo later) and I have had low key callings for over 3 years now.

And I'm guessing a girl!

Jackie said...

Good luck with the calling thing. I've had similar feelings at times & it's hard to know what to do. Good luck. I'm sure that Heavenly Father will bless you for your sacrifice & faith.

And I'm guessing it's a boy.

Melanie said...

I've had the same thing happen with a specific calling. I did ask to be released once and then, when I got it the second time, I finally shrugged my shoulders (and complained a little) and muscled my way through. As far as the Bishop thing goes, I've been there too. Since I'm not graceful in those kinds of situations and I tend to complain and gripe to my husband instead of sweetly enduring, I definitely won't offer any suggestions. Instead, I'll just say that I completely sympathize and feel for you. I'm glad your blessing helped, though. And I can't wait to hear specifically what your baby's gender will be!

JerieH said...

Hey Kellie,

Maybe I am a little too close to the situation too but I am very sorry that you where called to that calling again. Sometimes I think that the problem with Bishops is that they are male and there for do not understand how it feels to be a young mother. Or maybe the problem is that they tink they know how it is but really don't....

I guess the best I can to is say hang in there and I will start calling home more often to complain about how exhausting it is to have several small childern, plus some, and how much I need RS.

And remember that when I was in that ward their responce to Kurt going off for 6 months of training was to give me a third calling! Boys, they just don't get it.

So Kurt just walked in the front door and brought up a good point. That callings are not just one sided; that you can put Moroni's promise to work here. Pray with a sincere desire to know if this calling is right for you and then act on the answer. What ever the answer.

Hang in there I am rooting for you!

Colin & Lori said...

I have to give an amen to Jeri's comment and Kurt's. I know it doesn't make it any easier but you will be blessed. Those blessings may not be immediate, they may not be for years, but they will be there. You know that though. It is about the Lord's plan and kudos to you for getting a blessing! The Lord is surely pleased with your obedience to serve in his kingdom. I am pretty sure I would have the same frustrations that you have. I am sure my time will come.

I am guessing a boy. You sound somewhat excited about this and I know you wanted a brother for Jeremy. I will go vote now. Have a fun, fun, fun trip!