Had I known that you have never lost your temper or found your children exasperating I would never have deleted your comments. Twice.
I fail to understand why, if you think so little of me, you continue to visit my blog. From what I've been able to ascertain, you could possibly be somewhere in Utah. Is that correct? If so, then I think I'm safe to assume that you are LDS, especially since you've checked out the MormonMommyblogs site and possibly have one there, which is why you chose to post your comments anonymously. Since you're LDS, don'tcha think you should send the sister missionaries over to me a.s.a.p.? I mean, they know about all that righteous stuff, right? Maybe they could help me be more like you.
I just want to thank you for your self righteous advice.
I know that because of you and your humble admonitions of my behavior to my son (even despite my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a real case of it and not a case of, "Oh yeah, me to. I don't like to be dirty," but a case of it where it actually affects my day to day life and has made my personal life and relationships extremely difficult. Thank you so much for being so much of a jerk that I get to bring this out in the open for all my family and friends who didn't know this about me before to read and go, "Oh! Her weird actions make so much more sense now!" I know now that all the fun and good things I do with and for my children now mean nothing. How foolish of me for even trying. I could never be as good as you.
I have now learned humility. Thank you for teaching me that invaluable lesson. I will never forget you. Ever.
Thank you for showing me that I should compare myself to mothers like you. (Is there even another mother as good as you? I can't imagine the possibility.) Mothers who apparently know everything (with love and patience), can do everything (with love and patience), can handle anything (with love and patience), and would never, ever shove their own perfections in the faces of others who are not as equally blessed.
You know, I thought Elder Ballard had it right when he said, "There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children."
But you've shown me just how wrong he is. Could you point me in the direction of your blog so I can become a better mom? I plan on modeling myself after you. I'll dress my kids just like yours and feed them exactly what you feed your kids every day. Maybe I'll even get out of my pajamas today. Could you email me a list of your family rules. Suddenly the ones we made at Family Home Evening a couple weeks ago seem irrelevant and unimportant.
Quick question: Should I go through a depression period and eat a ton of Girl Scout Thin Mint ice cream? Or should I immediately pretend I'm you--the World's Best Mom (still working on that coffee mug for you).
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Oh, sorry. I took a break to have a tickle hug and kiss-fest with my daughter. I'm back now.
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Another question: What do I do about the OCD? I mean, you obviously have all the answers, right? So what do I do about it? I've been to a councilor to help me work through it, and you really should see the progress I've made. I mean, when I'm making chocolate chip cookies, I don't have to wash my hands between placing each cookie on the baking sheet anymore. Also, I can use baby wipes without grimacing. Each time I grab for one I still feel a little sick from the smell and how it feels in my hand and on my fingers, but I'm able to keep my disgust of the wipe itself off my face. I'm afraid I still can't handle pen ink, though. I will admit my weakness there. I will cry if I get pen ink on my skin and can't get it off. And I do feel bad when my daughter wants to stamp my hand with her Fancy Nancy stamp and I change the subject because I know I'll freak out when I feel the wet ink touch me. I also feel bad when I "borrow" the stamp and put it up on the microwave and let her forget about it for a while. But you know, I am getting better. I can do some crafts that are kind of messy now. For example, I (get this, I) offered to let them play with finger paint one day. I set them up in the kitchen and laid out paper grocery bags. I cut holes in huge garbage bags to make smocks and let them have at it. I was very proud of myself for taking such a huge step. Perhaps that wasn't as big of a step as I thought?
Oh, excuse me again. My daughter wants my help. She's making a present for her little brother.
Ok. The gift is finished so I'm back.
Well, I guess there's not much left to say except: Please let me know how I can be just like you. Unless of course it includes unjustly insulting people, not bothering to look at the whole picture (and I don't mean just the OCD stuff, but the rest of my blog as well), bothering to post the same rude comment twice in hopes that people will read it before I get to erasing it, putting yourself above others so you can feel good about yourself, etc. Because if that's what I'd have to do to be like you, I think I'd rather just work on becoming the best mom I can be and not worrying about what you think of me.
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P.S. I couldn't wait for your advice and I already started digging into the Girl Scout Thin Mint ice cream. But it wasn't in a depression. It was just because it's good and to celebrate the fact that it isn't noon yet.
