Mother's Little Experiment

Do things ever yell at you? I promise I'm not schizophrenic, but things yell at me all the time. I was listening to the radio a few weeks ago and the radio host had a woman on the air who was a relationship expert. She said the dirty dishes and garbage yell at her. They don't yell at her husband, but they yell at her. That was when I realized why my dirty dishes and garbage bug me so much and not my husband--because that's what they've been doing, too. The house chores yell at me, but not Nathan.

How many people function well with inanimate (not to mention voiceless, so you know it's all in your own head) things yelling at them? Then there's the kids, who really do yell--at me and each other.

How do we fix this? Well, I have a plan. Find a text to speech site that offers a free download, or a friend whose voice your husband won't recognize immediately, and record these phrases on a small voice recorder. The link above is a text to speech site. You can download a a great voice (which may cost, but don't you think it would be worth it?) and type in this, or have your friend record it.

"This is your pile of dirty dishes speaking. Wash me NOW!"

Hide the recorder in your kitchen near the sink. When your husband enters the kitchen press play and walk away. When he hears it you have to go about whatever you were doing. DO NOT act like the voice is anything new. Remember, you hear it all the time. You can act surprised that he heard it, but it is something you hear all the time.

See how quickly he gets those dishes sparkling.

The next week, do the same thing, but have the voice (or another friend whose voice your husband won't recognize) record this:

"This is the garbage. I'm full. And I stink. Take me out now! All the way out. To the outside garbage can. Please, I reek."

It might be a good idea to make this voice sound like it's being muffled, you know, because it's in a container, or under a cabinet.

I'm betting he won't take half the time he did getting outside with the garbage as he did getting started on the dishes when they yelled.

Then you can move on to having him clean the toilet and change baby diapers.

Experiment

There are two things that have been bugging me for a while. (This post isn't so much of a chance to complain as it may at first appear.) Number one on my list is the economy. Number two is China. Like the country, not the dishes. (I love the dishes.)

I'll start with number 2.

What is their problem?
China, stop killing people, ok?
Stop putting lead in toys and crap in baby formula.
Leave us in the United States alone.
Stop hating us.
Stop being jerks.
OK?
Glad I got that off my chest.

Now number 1.

I know this won't fix the problem because it's a big problem, but I really think this would help a little--if it was done en masse.

Buy things only made in the U.S.A.
and encourage businesses to have their goods manufactured in the U.S.A.

More and more jobs are being outsourced, leaving Americans unemployed. More and more goods are being brought into the U.S. from other countries, providing other countries with an income and leaving us without one.

Today I went to Borders to buy a couple journals, one for our family and one for me. Nearly every journal I saw was made in China (grrr) or Germany. I have nothing against Germany, but I refused to buy one that wasn't made in the United States.
Most of the journals that were made in the U.S. were made of fine leather and out of my price range. All the journals I loved were not made in the U.S.A.
I eventually found two that were on clearance that were acceptable. They were plain, but inexpensive. They were not trendy or cute, but they will work and they were not made in China.

I'm going to experiment. Most of the stores I love aren't Made in the USA kinda stores. Old Navy, for example. A store that makes me think of patriotism just from the name. Yet nothing in the store is made in America. Stores like Target and Wal-Mart (don't get me wrong, I hate Wal-Mart, I'm just including it here) and brands like Levi jeans, most of their stuff is not made in the U.S.

For my experiment I'm going to see how long I can go buying items only made in the United States. I know that some of that will be extremely difficult. It means I can't shop at Old Navy at all. It means my shopping will take longer because I'll have to look at item after item in order to find something not made in China.

Food may be an exception. Some foods are exotic. Some foods aren't around the U.S. in winter time. I don't have a problem with buying fruit from somewhere other than the U.S. if another country in another hemisphere is experiencing summer and has a surplus of fruit while we are in the throes of winter and have no fruit of our own.

I'm going to do this and I encourage others to join in. I know my little stand won't make a difference by itself, but it will make me feel better.

Plus, I'll feel like I have more of a right to complain about the terrible economy, after all, I didn't vote for him and I don't think he'll make it any better.