Do things ever yell at you? I promise I'm not schizophrenic, but things yell at me all the time. I was listening to the radio a few weeks ago and the radio host had a woman on the air who was a relationship expert. She said the dirty dishes and garbage yell at her. They don't yell at her husband, but they yell at her. That was when I realized why my dirty dishes and garbage bug me so much and not my husband--because that's what they've been doing, too. The house chores yell at me, but not Nathan.
How many people function well with inanimate (not to mention voiceless, so you know it's all in your own head) things yelling at them? Then there's the kids, who really do yell--at me and each other.
How do we fix this? Well, I have a plan. Find a text to speech site that offers a free download, or a friend whose voice your husband won't recognize immediately, and record these phrases on a small voice recorder. The link above is a text to speech site. You can download a a great voice (which may cost, but don't you think it would be worth it?) and type in this, or have your friend record it.
"This is your pile of dirty dishes speaking. Wash me NOW!"
Hide the recorder in your kitchen near the sink. When your husband enters the kitchen press play and walk away. When he hears it you have to go about whatever you were doing. DO NOT act like the voice is anything new. Remember, you hear it all the time. You can act surprised that he heard it, but it is something you hear all the time.
See how quickly he gets those dishes sparkling.
The next week, do the same thing, but have the voice (or another friend whose voice your husband won't recognize) record this:
"This is the garbage. I'm full. And I stink. Take me out now! All the way out. To the outside garbage can. Please, I reek."
It might be a good idea to make this voice sound like it's being muffled, you know, because it's in a container, or under a cabinet.
I'm betting he won't take half the time he did getting outside with the garbage as he did getting started on the dishes when they yelled.
Then you can move on to having him clean the toilet and change baby diapers.
