Friday, August 21, 2009

Probes are of the Devil and I Feel Lame

. . . and sore. So I went back to good ol' Case Dental School today. I was reminded why I hate going to the dentist. Seriously, I love you Nathan, and Ryan, you're cool, and all y'all dental students or dentists (hey Adam!) who may be reading this, you know I think you're great. But seriously, it takes one messed up person to want to be a dentist.

Probing my gums was not part of the dentist experience growing up and now all of a sudden they are sticking this thing up my gums and calmly calling out random numbers one through five, and I'm laying there on my head thinking, I'd rather be in labor without an epidural right now.

I actually cried. For a while. Nathan had to stop probing and ask someone in charge if he actually had to go on. He did. Now my gums are so sore that I don't want to eat anything. And I have cavities. Plenty of them. This isn't fair!! I brush. I floss, dang it! Almost every night I'm there pushing that stupid string between my teeth. Now I actually have to go back. And not just in six months, but within the next six days.

Anyone wanna babysit? Jeremy climbed all over me during the probing. Tell me that didn't make things hurt more. At least our friend Pete took Megan to class with him. She actually sat through an entire lecture with him and quietly played on his laptop.

Also, I actually fell asleep no less than 4 times while in that blasted dental chair. I am so tired that I can fall asleep during a painful cleaning. Get that? This was just a cleaning and I was in tears. It wasn't Nathan's fault, let me put that in. I just have awful teeth. So yeah, I actually fell asleep in the chair. Two of these times though was when Nathan was trying to decide which tool to use, trying to read the size of the scraper thingies. And this wasn't my first time falling asleep in a dental chair. I did it last time, too. (Hey Adam! Don't know if you noticed it or not.)

At one point I compared/contrasted the dentist experience to the hair cutting experience.

Dentist Experience: pain expected

Salon Experience: not usually painful unless your ear gets clipped by idiot hairdresser

Dentist Experience: painful all the way through

Salon Experience: usually only painful at the end when I look in the mirror and see the damage

Dentist Experience: I can fall asleep assuming they don't ask me questions about myself while their pain-inducing and of the devil tools are in my mouth

Salon Experience: I can fall asleep assuming they don't ask me questions about myself

Dentist Experience: I visit the dentist about twice a year (not counting visits for fillings)

Salon Experience: I visit the salon about twice a year (sad, but true)

Anyway, I thought it shocking that the two things were so similar. Still, I'd rather get my hair cut than go to the dentist. Like I said before, I'd rather be in labor without the epidural than go to the dentist.


Ry and Kris Jones said...

I'm offended! So offended!

Wade, Jenny, and Girls said...

I'm with you. I hate going to the dentist.
P.S. I only get my hair cut a couple times a year too.

Summer said...

Sorry you had such a bad time! I'd love to babysit next time. Give me a call!

The Mirci Family said...

I fall asleep at the dentist all the time!! I find it relaxing :)

Leanne said...

I can only subject myself to once a year hair cuttings. Nobody ever does it right (except 1 time) and it takes a year for me to get it back to a good enough length to get it cut again. I hate curly hair.

AND I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST!!! I too have horrible teeth, yet I floss, brush and do whatever else they may tell me. That's what you get for having kids I guess.