Thursday, October 30, 2008

Dear Valued Customer


This is a sad post. Not sad as in tears, but sad as in, Oh, wow. You're a loser. So any of you who gave me coolness points for sleeping on the streets of NYC or for biting that drunk jerk, if you're going to drop my coolness rating, please don't tell me.

Like most people I feel annoyed when all I get in the mailbox is junk mail. (Although you may seriously doubt that after reading this post.) I want a letter people! Good old fashioned stamps and envelopes with paper and ink on the inside. And it must start with "Dear Kellie," instead of, "Ms. Buckner."

However, the other day (no, not the day I escaped to my mailbox, another day) there was no real mail in my little box. There was nothing. No junk mail, no real mail, nothing. I sighed as I closed the little door and walked back to the elevator. I left for the store and came back about an hour or so later. As I pulled in, I noticed the mail truck sitting in the parking lot! Yay! A second chance! Maybe I wasn't forgotten! Oh the possibilities! A pizza ad? I know there's a Dominos near. Or maybe Bed Bath and Beyond, promising me $10 off my purchase of $50. . . . Oh, I know! Maybe I was sent some personalized return address stickers with birds on them, or drawings made by kids. Anything, please!!! except a bill. anything except a bill.

Is it sad that that day I needed junk mail to make me feel good? In a way legit? I'm a person. Did I need the junk mail to tell me I am legitimately a person? A "valued customer?" Yes. It is sad. Wow. Y'all that know my address. Maybe you could toss me postcard or something. Or at least send me your old Valu-Pak.

3 comments:

trublubyu said...

you're so funny. i totally get the mail thing. no one sends letters anymore. i would love one, too.

did you ever watch that old church video called "the mailbox" about the old lady who walks to her mailbox every day hoping for a letter from her family? well, this is what that reminds me of.

i hope you get some mail soon. christmas is coming. hopefully you'll get a few of those long letters where people tell you everyting they did all year and how cute their kids are.

Amber Omer said...

Kellie, I just sent a couple halloween cards to my grandmas...and my one aunt who mails me a card for every holiday that says nothing inside them except Love, Aunt Karen. They will get them the day after Halloween because most days I don't even get showered and dressed until abby goes down for a nap at 1:oo ish and our mail lady comes at an earlier time every day.
I have one card left, I'm going to send it to you! :) Now you can look forward to it ok? Sorry it's late! I'll be better next time! I love getting old fashioned mail. So here we go pen pal! (I'm excited, i'm a huge stationary fan! I could spend hours in an office store just smelling paper! I'm weird huh? I'll understand if you choose not to be my pen pal! :))

Kellie Buckner said...

trublubyu, I did see that video. wow, that makes my cool points drop dramatically when I think about it like that. . . . I love those long brag letters.

Amber, thanks for the Halloween card!! I'm excited to get it! And i will totally be your pen pal; I think it's awesome! This mission was great that way, always getting letters.