Sunday, October 5, 2008

Yes, I'm a Biter.

So some other people wanted to know what was with the biting thing in my random things about me tag.

When I was at Ricks College (remember, it's Ricks, not BYU-I) during my second year I had two great roomies named Tonya and Hillary. Hillary was crazy like me in a lot of ways and Tonya was more crazy than me in many more ways. Our taste in music was pretty similar and I actually went to see RENT in Salt Lake with Tonya (we ate Captain Crunch cereal and listened to the soundtrack the entire drive from Rexburg to SLC). One day we heard that the Violent Femmes were going to be playing in Jackson Hole, Wyoming and the three of us thought it would be really fun to go.

Tonya and I were among the first to show up to the concert. It was a small concert, pretty private as it was held in a conference room at a hotel or something like that. Tonya and I got as close to the stage as possible and right in the middle. Hillary was driving with a couple of her high school friends to the concert and we hadn't seen her yet. They ended up being late because one of the had to work. During the concert I kept looking back to try to find them. Once I did, I kind of stepped back and waved to get their attention, inviting them up with Tonya and me. As I did so, a skinny college kid tried to take my place. I hadn't really left it, my right foot hadn't moved, and I didn't want to be separated from my roommates.

I tried to wedge myself back in my spot, but the guy didn't want to give up what he believed he had rightfully taken. He was jumping up and down, drunk or nearly there, and holding a platic cup which was quickly losing its contents due to his sporadic movements. Over the music I yelled something like, "Excuse me, I was here and this is my roommate, please move over." He said something like, "Heck no, " and spilled a little of his beer on me. Gross. Just gross.

So I said, "Move!" and kind of shoved him away. He decided to push me back and got more of his nasty fermented crap on me. At this I warned him I would bite him if he didn't move.

[I don't know why I said I'd do it. I'd only ever bitten my brother and that was when we were kids and he kept changing the channel on the TV! Dang him! I wanted to watch Punky Brewster! Not Transformers.]


He was standing (jumping) between me and my roommates and I was getting really mad. He laughed at me and said, "Yeah, right." So what did I do? I took his shoulder in my hands and bit him. Boy, don't tell me I can't do something cause I'll shove it right down your throat.

So by this point a big black Bouncer came over to us. He'd seen what was happening and the kid told the Bouncer I'd bitten him. Expecting the Bouncer to throw me out, he was quite surprised when the Bouncer said, "You're lucky that's all she did, now get out!" The kid stood rooted to the floor for the first time that night. "What?" "You heard me, get out." "No." "Then I'm gonna take you out." And out they went. I'm so cool.

Janeen, I can't believe we never told you and Camie that story. Weird.

7 comments:

MERRIANNE said...

that is an awesome story!!!!!

wooo hooo!!!

Note to self: don't mess with Kellie!

JerieH said...

It is official - you are so much more cooler than I am!!! I need to go read your "today.com" blogg to renew my self-esteem.

Kellie Buckner said...

Whatever! You're the one that just canned 92 POUNDS of apples. I think that beats me.

Laura Moffitt said...

Your cool points are ever increasing. Taht cracks me up!! I wish I had a crazy story like that...but no luck for me.

Leanne said...

ha haha ha! I'm a biter too. Just ask my childhood "friends"

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

This is so funny!!! If I ever meet you in person, remind me never to take your spot at a concert! I can't even sass you and say "Bite me!" because you really would!

janeen said...

that is too funny! I wonder why I never heard that story. I have a bad memory but I am sure I would not forget that story. Your rock, kellie!